Developing our primary idea.

Watching back the pitch allowed me to understand how others may perceive my idea, and it really opened my eyes to all the impracticalities of the concept, how cliche it was, and also how amateurish it was. This isn't to say that I want to scrap the idea, 95% of the feedback was negative, yet Luke praised the performance aspect. This positive feature in the concept amongst a whole hoard of negatives made me focus in on that element, and what it is that interests me about it and makes it successful.

Responding to feedback:

Originality - The originality of my music video concept was heavily challenged in our pitch, prior to the pitch I was under the impression that it was quite a different and interesting concept, but after hearing feedback from Luke, a man with a lot of experience in the industry of music videos, I am able to see that my concept was very generic and wouldn't be intriguing for an audience member. So I took some time to think about the feedback given and have come up with a new narrative for the concept, and a revised, improved style for the performance element. 

Whilst at home I was looking for inspiration for some kind of trademark in the concept, one that would make the music video stand out, and give the artist quite an edgy, out there vibe. I stumbled across three gas masks that my dad had impulse bought on an online auction about a decade ago that had just been lying around gathering dust. I thought these were quite interesting to look at, each mask with their own style and look. 

As to demonstrate my visions of the gas mask in regards to the music video concept I shot some pictures with my sister in our garage.

I think these pictures are creepy and evoke quite a dark feeling, this is the kind of vibe I would be looking to achieve in my music video.

To respond to all three areas of feedback for our idea I came up with a rough revised concept for the video:

• A man is seen with blood pouring down his face in a dirty public toilet (either toilet of hurtwood inn, or downstairs boys toilet at hurtwood)

• Cuts away to a shot of a newspaper article with the man's face on it - the headline reads "Successful businessman shows no remorse after killing family of 4 in intoxicated traffic collision" - or something similar

• News paper scrunched up and thrown away 

• Shots of men (faces not shown) donning gas masks and gearing up for something

• Cuts to business bathroom guy drinking in a pub (Hurtwood inn - owned by Richard Jackson) with his friends, having a good time, getting seriously drunk 

• leaves pub (very drunk) gets in car, turns key - head gets slammed into the steering wheel by one of the gas mask guys

• the other two emerge and put un conscious man in boot of the car

•  drive him to warehouse (the studio or maybe the boiler room underneath Hurtwood main house)

• Throw him into similar looking set to "Let you go" music video 

• Man regains consciousness, sees photographs of the family he killed around him, "murderer" spray painted on walls etc.

• business man cuts through duck taped-bound wrists on nail and breaks out

• short running sequence either through woods or more likely and preferably through the backstreets of Cranleigh

• empowering shots of the three masked guys walking after him menacingly

• man runs into public toilet  

• final shot gas mask guy kicking open door and coming towards man

This is not a final concept - if we were to commit to this idea I would expect the narrative to develop significantly through brainstorming and discussion over the coming week. I have already considered casting for each role in the possibility that we go with this development to the concept.

As for the performance aspect, I do agree with Phil that a dance/rave sequence would be difficult to film, difficult to cast, and wouldn't look very convincing. I do like the idea of having a just a drummer and a female artist, the drummer only having one drum that he aggressively hits - as in the sound of the track, there only seems to be one marching band like drum without any symbols, snares or bass hits. Once i find out what instrument it is that is making the groaning electronic noise I think we should add that to the performance element. Alongside a female singer.

There will be two locations where the drumming and singing would take places, one is in the warehouse, the other outside in the dark, surrounded by smoke that is illuminated by the beams of two car's headlights from either side - I feel this could be very cinematic. As for the electronic groaning instrument, that would only be performed in the warehouse scene (the studio).